Grief is a pure form of your love. The depth of the pain of your grief is a sign of the depth of your love for the one who is gone. So, it’s important for you to honor the pain. But, the heat of your pain must be transformed into the light of wisdom and growth. This is the work of grief.
The work of grief, the object of grief, is to harvest the fruits of your love, to allow your love to take its most refined and mature form. This means taking the best of the love you have for the one who has gone and finding new ways to express it. This begins with gratitude for the great gift of your love as well as finding an expression of this love in service to others who also hurt.
Grief forces us to live in the moment, even if that moment is painful. Gratitude is also a pure form of love. if you can find a way to be grateful for the gift of love in your life, the pain of your grief can begin to take a new form.
Over time, the pain of your love and your gratitude will cause a tenderness in your heart. In healthy grief, the pain slowly turns to kindness and compassion for the suffering of others. While it is perfectly normal to experience them in the short term, in unhealthy grief, the pain of grief turns to bitterness and alienation. Be mindful of these taking hold.
If you have found a way to work through your own grief, consider helping someone else by writing your experience here.
Our grief is a proof of our love. There are valuable gifts contained in the pain and powerlessness, if we look.
If you’ve weathered the pain of a terrible loss, perhaps you can help someone else who is now in the same position. If you feel comfortable doing so, comment below on how you handled this terrible pain. What did you do? What helped you? What wisdom did you gain? Thanks!
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When my Mom passed away 5 years ago, I gave one of her eulogies. This video talks about the approach I used.
Grief is an opportunity to have love come to fruition. Love is always changing in form. The reasons we are attracted to someone grows into a new form when we marry. That form grows and changes when we become parents and launch careers. Throughout life, love grows and changes form. When a loved one dies, we have an opportunity to be witness to love coming to full fruition. It’s an important part of our relationship with the person we love who is no longer with us.
An important part of grief is finding a way to keep the best qualities of our loved one alive in our own life after they have gone. It’s important not to suffer the pain of grief in vain. As we said in an earlier video, we need to be sure that the heat of the pain of grief produces the light of wisdom and growth. Finding a way to keep the best of a loved one alive in our own words and acts towards others is one of the ways to do so.
I’m looking in to how to best provide a webinar next week on grief so we can explore these topcis in much more depth. These short videos are intended to get the heart and mind moving, not to be the ultimate answers to a topic as big as life (and death) itself.
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How have you seen the best of a loved one who has passed on carried forward by your acts, or the acts of someone else?
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that grief is something to “get over,” as if it were a cold! Grief is finding a new form for love.
Don’t suffer needlessly! Be sure to capture the gift hidden in your own grief. The “heat” of the fire of grief has to be turned into the “light” of wisom and growth.